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Welcome back from your holiday weekend. If you're like me, you're exhausted. I'm not tired because of the holidays. I'm tired because car alarm manufacturers are sadists and should be imprisoned.

There was a car alarm going off outside my bedroom window all night. Now, when you live in a city, you do so with the understanding that it's not as quiet as life in the country, and you'll have to deal with stuff like this. But why do car alarms have to go on forever? Seriously, the alarm started going off around 11 p.m. and was going intermittently throughout the night. It would go off for five minutes, stop for a while, and start again.

Why!? Why would you design a car alarm never to turn off? If somebody is trying to steal a car, the alarm either scares them off or doesn't. If it doesn't, they'll steal the car and shut the alarm off themselves. If it does scare them off, they're gone! The alarm doesn't need to go for another eight hours!

Anyway, if I see the car parked out on the street again tonight -- it left this afternoon -- I'm going to steal it myself and drive it into Lake Michigan. But keep that between us, OK?

I can't find odds on whether or not the car will be back tonight, but I did find some on tonight's games.

All times Eastern, and all odds via Caesars Sportsbook